Photo credits: InspiredImages (pixabay), Johannes Plenio (pixabay) Edited by Vaishali Title: Breathe Author: Isabel Jolie Series: Twisted Vines series Publisher: Self Published Year of Publication: 2022 Format: Paperback copy gifted by the author Genre/Themes: Adult Romance/ Adult Fiction, M/F romance Second Chances romance, Romantic Suspense, LGBT Review... ➜ Small town second chances ➜ Reverse tortured heroine ➜ Bisexual female protagonist ➜ Scenic mountaintop vineyard ➜ Protagonists in their early thirties ➜ Wine County/Napa Valley setting ➜ Black ops cybercrime fighting crew I'm very intimate with the fact that I'm not your typical reader that fits to the standard of customary reading order perfection. The romance reading shock and horror, I know. If it doesn't arrive with required reading instruction, I'll most definitely choose to my reading fancy, sequence be damned. If I have more than one book in an interconnected series of standalones in my e-library, I assiduously make it my mission to select which I'm drawn to. Which I gauge will give me the best reading experience for my very moment-to-moment Vaishali tastes. I was so generously gifted (signed!) paperbacks of both Crushed and Breathe by this wonderful writer of romance, and despite Breathe being second-in-series I was so very lured downstream by the idea of a wounded heroine (beautifully captured on her lonesome walk by the cover) who returns to her roots not quite the same as the loved-up teenage girl she'd been. So as it was, Breathe easily became my priority pick from the Twisted Vines series. A heartbreak later, no foreigner to death and danger, and with the gauntlet of grief now hers to claim, Kairi reconnects with what was once her mountaintop home where all that once mattered was her and a boy she loved. Kairi and her black ops team have made temporary base in her mother's vineyard, and although they've found provisional respite in hiding, there is no guaranteed safety in a world of cyberspace that hosts a network of criminality. She's now back home out of urgency rather than preference because there's no rest for the dark web superhighway. As such, her stay at Howell Mountain was supposed to be nothing more than a stop in a series of relocations that her life has now become. Kairi's not a happy woman, and it's so hard for her to breathe. That's why I felt the tug towards Breathe. The utter gist of it felt like a weight I needed to understand. That, and I was thoroughly eager beaver for the double gain of an Isabel Jolie romance and an Isabel Jolie romance embodying a bisexual heroine. Nor did I entertain passing up Jolie's suspense experimentation with the Twisted Vines collection. With a scenic landscape, a small-town backdrop, a heroine with a story to tell from one love to another, and one that subsets one of my favourite romance sub-genres, I was in restful company. When I began reading though, a part of me wondered if I should have been a sensible reader and begun with Erik and Vivi's story instead. Not that both stories can't comfortably stand apart, but that Kairi and David's romance felt very indifferent and long-trying in a way that made it tough to be absorbed by was a difficulty I didn't expect to come by. With the type of story beheld, I found that the depth of connection needed to fully establish their lost love, their separation, their history and present-day developing reconnection didn't deliver with redolent affinity. Since the quality of this was more tonally sober due to risk level, the line of work with the Arrow Security gang and Kairi's emotional state, more tied-in bonds between characters would've made the essence of a second chance really thrive. I was disappointed that I found myself unenthused for the first three quarters of the romance. It made me sad. I thrive on that feeling of a rich history of two childhood sweethearts belied by the estrangedness of time apart and lives apart, the queerness of meeting anew but the bigger, more beautiful study of coming together again. It's a trope with a lot to give and a lot to gain, but I mostly felt as estranged from the romance as Kairi and David seemed to feel towards each other, and even that subtext of bigger feelings existing beneath their interactions didn't quite hold its weight. Understandably, Kairi's still secretively stumbling through her grief in her quiet Kairi way; lost to herself, different and incredibly unsure how to process all that had happened. How to move forward from it, and she's more internalised than she likes to admit. She wasn't moving forward at all, so I understood her stance on playing into the role of distance and being the more resistant of the two. And even though I did, she still felt very hard to draw from as a protagonist - I felt like I was watching her more than feeling involved in her arc, even as I did want to find her receiving a healing love. As individual as her life is from David's, I'm not sure I felt her other than being this 'middle ground' Kairi, stuck between a rock and a rock and another hard place. Since she'd been through something painfully tragic, I was hoping she'd play part to a reconnection that would be painfully hopeful and full of love, and although it found a place there in the end, my experience didn't meet with that intimacy for a strong few quarters of their romance. Unfortunately, David couldn't quite save that for me either, and I didn't expect to feel so 'on pins and needles' with Jolie's hero. His behavioural reactions felt more questionable than otherwise, and despite him later being the more eager of the two to try again for a second chance, I surprised myself by disliking him. I had to keep checking in with to question different, but most importantly I didn't feel and share in his own experience. David clearly had a ways to go in working through his own confusion with their shared and unshared youth, but he could be inconsiderately self-absorbed, very dismissive of Kairi's feelings. It seemed to be a case of reliving his own part, without seeing or understanding his heroine's. Without having an ear for her own experience of their history, he seemed unable to see how what had happened between them wasn't his story alone, and thus her feelings would elude him. And while Kairi was more internalised, David wasn't a great communicator. Even through some leisurely moments of recall, he didn't have those moments of recalling her fondly, appreciatively or with any particular ounce of 'wow, she was amazing and I'm glad to have had her in my life.' They both typically seem to recall each other with the passing grace of every other interchangeable, drifting thought in mind. I never knew where I really stood with either of the protagonists, and as narrators and romantic partners they weren’t typically reliable. Even though David expressed why he let her go all those years ago, the reasoning didn't quite measure up to me. He declared he did it it so Kairi could experience the world, but it felt like deflection and runaway; like he couldn't face the truth so refused to confront it. And this felt so contrary and cavalier to the David who never wanted to let Kairi go in the prologue. They never really resolve through those feelings. I gently bring in the point that the narrative confusion could have been curbed with stronger explanatory elements. I was confused more often than not, and the provided reasoning or lack thereof made it tricky to enjoy the developments comfortably. David seemed very in his head about David, and even though I struggled in connecting with them as a pair and as individuals, I felt that Kairi deserved better than that. Until I started to see different, I felt more in the grasp of Lara and Kairi's relationship, wanting to know more about them. But in terms of the relationship pacing, Breathe had a decent slow burn, albeit one that felt backwardly imperfect. The first bedroom scene did hit the page too quickly for me; next to the distance and difference they felt in proximity and with each other, the immediacy didn't feel right. With the dynamic as it stood, it felt senseless for that to happen when the chemistry was something antithetical than a proud burn. Of course, there was that sense of puzzlement and unresolvedness, but whatever chemistry was there that pushed them into each other in that moment, again I was hard pressed in feeling it. Just like I'd feel when they shared a scene together, and when they would thereafter say or do things with a sense of familiarity or gentle warmth, I'd have to pinch myself. But professedly, of the two of them I was perhaps more drawn to Kairi than her given hero. The character reveals, personalities and developments nicely languish against the slower and more earnest quality of Breathe, which really compliments its tone. And with the slowness and sleepiness I felt from the wide open land of the vineyard settlement, unbothered by the gently stirring natures of the characters, it made for modest calm in comparison. The accompanying suspense was a nice pairing, and it felt like such a novelty to kick up a bit of risk and suspense within that small town paradigm. That was a nice blend. I would have appreciated more locational wandering and description, because if I'm good to get the vibe of wine country, I really want to feel it. In terms of side characters, Trevor was definitely a favourite, and when a certain housebreak takes place, I wanted the story to check in more with him and his recovery - perhaps a real scene that establishes more dialogue between him and Kairi considering her state of emotional despair when the dust barely settles. He's quite an encouraging character for Kairi and his safety suddenly became paramount to me, but I felt that the story too swiftly skips through the current state of people and their affairs. I also really loved Roland; he seems to be the only member of the supporting cast that Kairi actually seems to have a built a lovable connection with, and whenever he's in reach, she literally seems to bolt into his arms. I'm glad she has that. There was also the theme of Kairi's sexuality status and how it was received and processed by the accompanying characters. I loved that she was the kind of woman who threw labels to the wind and loved in a way that was utterly new but right for her. She'd only ever been with two people, and she loved them both. One being David, and one being Lara. It was justifiable that David's character harboured unresolved confusion over that, but it did effectively become tiresome when, for whatever reason, he couldn't frame his mind around it. For David, it wasn't her sexuality that was problematic, it was the reflection pertaining to hearsay, surrounding belief and leading to him questioning their history. Kairi has to often proffer answers to questions he's continually baffled by. Some of his thought processes would make me pinch my brow, but I believe his restlessness really came from pride and insecurity. Still, a defiant part of me wished Kairi had been sexually experimentational for all it seemed to bother David when he'd led a more than active dating life himself. For Kairi, she was a practicer of hearts over parts and I loved that about her as much as I loved her lack of remorse over it. There are some introduced attitudes of biphobia, namely from a few of David's family members, but that definitely felt very true to life in respect to casually uninformed and harmful perspectives. David had a lot on his plate in his life, and he had some domestic responsibilities to manage; a mystery illness with his mother (the reason for his return to Howell Mountain), and then there's his spiteful, alcoholic-dependent older brother. One who's never been a role model sibling, son or general all-around decent human being. So let's hope Daniel might do some right and engage with some healing of his own (though no high hopes over here for that). But it could really go one way more than the other with an entitled brother. Poor David, but even a paediatric practitioner with a sensible disposition can be pushed too far. I do prefer stories that are more character/relationship centric so I would have preferred stronger bonds sown for these small-town hopefuls. The intimacy needed felt like an absent piece of the puzzle. And while the dynamic didn't ring or rumble with resonance, it remains unchanged that any Isabel Jolie romance likely already has my name on it. Although the relationship wasn't fleshed out for full impact, I'm fully in the belief that all heroines need love, and that Breathe gave Kairi hers made me begin to see the beauty in where this new love might take her come the end. Returning back to her hometown was never meant to happen. You can have the best intentions to defy the odds and stay together but have no hand in how life unrolls your rolled-out fates. And instead of defying this odds, David and Kairi became them. Fourteen years later and they're nothing to the other except somebody they used to know and love. Their lives have since taken on a shape of their own. She's an operative to a super-secret cybercrime security squadron working on a classified high-priority government project and he's looking to dig in his professional roots as a paediatrician. It is indeed a story of lovers estranged to lovers once again. There's some suspense, a languishing build up, some imperfect love, a lot of history and some black ops danger that shakes up a quiet setting. Kairi and David's love story started like most; a promise of devotion and determination that their love would last forever. This hero once wanted his heroine to be his first, his only and his last. She was his first, she wasn't his only and in this small-town suspense where a second chance was never believed to happen, she certainly becomes his last. Because even though life happens, love can never seem to perish. And with some sweet and soft wisdom to remember, Breathe courts a gentle wisdom. I gave this book 3 stars - Some bookish pics of Breathe! |
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M Y R A T I N G S Y S T E M:
★ - 1 star: I did not like the book
★★ - 2 stars: The book was okay
★★★ - 3 stars: It was a good, solid read
★★★★ - 4 stars: A great book
★★★★★ - 5: A phenomenal read
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R E L A T E D P O S T S:
● BOOK REVIEW: Trust Me by Isabel Jolie
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2) I had questions about Kairi's actual career. David once mentions that she didn't take her studies seriously (and he thus felt heavily responsible for her) but she ended up as a black ops operative instead. That's a major jump. In these cases more clarification would really help a reader out. I gleaned that David's the more academically inclined, and we get the feeling that he once saw her as someone not capable of applying herself, but then counters in another scene that 'he knew she was going places' - so again, these inconsistencies resulted in a lot of confusion on my part. And in large part, the storytelling is quite vague, and I came away always feeling as if a situation was incomplete.
3) After Trevor got hurt I so REALLY just wanted the story to follow up with him more than it did, but as mentioned in the main body of my review, I had to hear about his recovery vicariously or retrospectively. These moments without nurturing bonds tend to take away from the story.
4) Just to preview another point of confusion, Kairi and her team are sort of in hiding from a cybercrime criminal she and Erik once worked for. I think it's once said that Kairi's paranoid because of what had happened to them and what then resulted in a big grief for her, but in the way she's characterised she doesn't come off as someone who's overtly cautious of her situation. I think the story mentioned she has gained a bit of a history of paranoia and required some intense therapy to help her work through the event that took Lara away from her, but it's actually Erik out of their small ensemble that shows markers of paranoia. Kairi felt quite relaxed in comparison, and even seemed to trust others.
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Vaishali
Born in the UK
Raised in the UK
But whose truest homeland lies between the pages of a book.
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