Photo credits: Gerd Altmann, Sabine Lange, Yuri_B (Pixabay) Edited by Vaishali Title: Hard Code Series: Hard Stuff #1 Author: Misha Bell Publisher: Mozaika Publications Year of Publication: 2021 ISBN: 978-1-63142-621-6 Print ISBN: 978-1-63142-622-3 Format: E-book copy Genre/Themes: Adult Fiction, Contemporary romance, Rom-com, Humour WARNING: This review will contain adult content and quotes/references will contain profanity. R E V I E W ...I preface this review by confessing that I didn't start this book with the greatest of expectations but I finished with pleasant surprise, lightweight joy, weightless appreciation and a recently-discovered impulse to browse through the written miscellanea of the writing partnership that is Misha Bell. The authors had me a smart high-tech sex toys and the rest my friends, is mirthful history. Fanny Pack is the quirky heroine of this ripe rom-com of mishap and mischance. If you're doing a double take at that name, what you're privy to is the very quintessence of Misha Bell's style of comic relief with Hard Code. You're in for a slew of epithets courtesy of a heroine with a taste for nicknaming all manner of paraphernalia, who's bolder than she believes, blushes with the ferocity of a ripe autumn plumb and has the firmest luck of the clumsy. I believe romantic lit should have a place for every type of heroine and Fanny’s succession of errors, her imagination, oddball habits and graceless imperfection call to the karmic luck of the draw, all of which I appreciated. With a computer science degree under her belt and an animation-inspired app that's currently in the works, Fanny Pack is angling her way into her software firm's code development team. As it is, she's currently a tester who's just been tasked with a discretionary high priority project: to test a range of tech-enhanced adult toys. We know that karma isn't quite a benevolent force in the life of Fanny, and sure enough, her perfect trial tester backs out at the last minute, leaving her with a line-up of high-tech adult apparatus, slim choices all around and panic the size of her misfortune. With slim pickings and as she leans toward the idea of being her own trial sampler, it opens up the merits of proving something to herself. If her latest ex left her for her lack of sexual deviance, this little adventurous project is the perfect pick-me-up. And the fruits of Fanny's boldness ropes in none other than her boss's boss and CEO of the company, Vlad Chortsky. Reclusive workaholic and severe professionalist with a surround sound of mystique, he's private, he's prosperous and his untouchability makes him the subject of rumours aplenty... and vampire likeability. Known around the office as 'the Impaler', he's the quarry of all vampire witticism, of which Fanny has plenty to amuse herself with, regaled within the confines of mindfully protected space, just not spoken to Vlad’s very handsome, very superhero-like face. I'm going to cut to the chase by cutting to the heart and that's to say I dove into a pile of rom-com giggles and glee with Hard Code. It was just pure fun from first to last. If you have a taste for the silly, smutty sense of humour that consummately calls to the outrageous, you're going to fall Fanny first and Dracula deep for this one. I am your typical detail-disposed reader so I confess to readers who appreciate the same that this isn't the descriptively explicit ‘let's-outline-everything’ sort of read. Surprisingly, the above wasn't a problem for me. After finishing up with a darker series I wanted perky, blithe and breezy so this book made it remarkably easy for me to let go and take everything in stride. Most of which worked in my fickle favour to maximal effect. Hard Code isn’t overly sexed nor does it come with an overfill of smut. The one actual bedroom scene materialises after a slow burn build up of ‘professional’ cybersex that assumes the role of foreplay. Very raunchy in that inappropriate boss/employee paradigm. It teases and taunts but is still saucy and sexy in the same vein. Both the story along with the characters were just a breeze to read and this was definitely one of those reads that drew me in with its careless funny without a need to overthink. If I were to cry out a complaint however, It’s that I’m certain a few pages at minimum were missing right at tail end of chapter 19 because Vlad and Fanny are in the middle of a conversation that abruptly ends, bringing with it the events of chapter 20 without a lead up to Fanny meeting Vlad’s family. The abrupt scene change was a jarring and quelled the flow for me but since I seem to be the only one lament this, I think (for whatever reason) this might’ve been an issue with my personal e-book copy. My only other complaint is that I wished this were longer. For all its length and writing style, there isn’t a lot of depth development wise, nor do the authors intend for a deep and heartfelt storyline so I wouldn’t expect tortured characters or brooding struggles with something to overcome if you decide to take your chances. As this was a slow burn with - what felt like - a fast ride to the ‘L’ word despite it being said right at the end, the road to the HEA was probably too quick for me. But as we speak of the relationship in question, Fanny and Vlad’s chemistry is just adorable, warm and built on similarities that do appear to transcend that of physical attraction, though there is clearly that too. FANNY: A heroine in the STEM field who can (just about) pull off professional and comes packing with unrepentant eccentricity? I'm all ears and at attention. As someone who identifies with a strong and unusual sense of quirk and also affectionately nicknames various items of possession, I thought she was lovably off-centre with brains to match. She’s blatantly quirky and quick to embarrass in the same breath while still arriving with a sense of insecurity. She does definitely brandish that slapstick vibe, which I realise was a point of contention for some readers but personally, she didn’t feel too much for me. It’s also worth mentioning that the authors don’t pry into the landscape of Fanny’s physical appearance, and this reinforces the basis of a relationship that (while isn’t noticeably deep) is above being skin-deep, much as Fanny herself likes to ogle her Russian superior’s beautiful hide. Though I do put it out there that I really don’t blame her. Of course, there’s the cliché of the average female who gets the supernaturally good-looking non-average male but the twist is that our hero isn’t superficially-minded. Dare I say the sapiosexualism simmers? Let us dare. Though Fanny gets full POV rights, and we do get testimony that Vlad was attracted to her from the moment he saw her (evidenced by the epilogue from his one-and-only POV), I felt confident in his attraction as there were enough signals to gauge reciprocated feelings. VLAD: Though Vlad is your classic assertive bossman; a formal, fearless, stand-offish and well-proportioned-in-every-way hero, he also doubles as a reclusive Matrix-loving braniac who’s hard for privacy and smitten with his guinea pig. While Fanny's the graceless geek incarnate, Vlad's the graceful alpha geek contained. I secretly loved his protective mother-henning every time he fussed over Fanny. To see him them both connect over all and their very many commonalities was adorable, as was that one imperceptive moment in his limo when he glances between his laptop and Fanny and you know it’s a decision between work or woman that he was a goner. Also did I mention that he’s a Russian hero who doesn’t assume the secret life as a mafioso? You do switch it up Misha Bell. But more importantly, I need to alert the cavalry for small merrymaking fiesta because I myself was wholly smitten by the presence of a non-promiscuous, non-resistant hero. Let’s take in those beautiful adjectives very deeply. Romance doesn't often hand over the spotlight to such male anomalies so it's more than unembelished for me to say that I loved this multi-talented culture buff who, despite being mysteriously aloof, was clearly charmed by his heroine the whole way through. I’ve read from a plethora of fictional males who resist their heroine like she’s the bringer of the next Armageddon so Vlad was just a delight who dispels this while maintaining his manly mystery. As aforementioned, this was a heroine-only narrated POV but I felt that there were enough signals from Vlad to determine where he stood. Hard Code does have a mixed reception of feedback. I realise that some readers felt that the humour was forcibly grandiose and the promise of laugh-out-loud backfires. I didn’t quite laugh out loud myself but there was snickering and smirking aplenty, all bound with an airy adhesive I call joy. This book wasn’t too much for me and nor did the characters feel too much for me, and though I did harbour some critique, none of it was a deal-breaker. I’ve read from neither Anna Zaires nor Dima Zales but perhaps it was fated that I initiated myself with them both as one as they come together as Misha Bell for this line of ‘Hard Stuff’ rom-coms. Fall down Misha Bell’s rom-com rabbit hole with an offbeat heroine who doesn’t believe she’s adventurous enough, has tasteful code but graceless poise, her Russian hero who may or may not be a vampire, would beg to differ about his heroine’s lack of adventurousness and rescues blushing maidens with intrusive objects in entry chambers. You’ll also enjoy inappropriate Fanny-to-Fanny regaling, adorable guinea pig meet and greets that soon turn frisky, witty references, vampire similitude and slow-burn cybersex that all amounts to a comedy of error at the expense of Ms. Fanny Pack. Hard Code is a misadventure romantic comedy where all that can go wrong does but where some things also go right. My first Misha Bell was pure light entertainment, a pleasant surprise and crisp graceless joy. I gave this book 4 stars -C O N T E N T W A R N I N G: Some swearing, one bedroom scene, general adult content and an office harassment scene. --------------------------------------- M Y R A T I N G S Y S T E M: ★ - 1 star: I did not like the book ★★ - 2 stars: The book was okay ★★★ - 3 stars: It was a good, solid read ★★★★ - 4 stars: A great book ★★★★★ - 5: A phenomenal read --------------------------------------- ______________________________________________ R E L A T E D P O S T S: ● BOOK REVIEW: Royally Tricked by Misha Bell ______________________________________________ E X T R A T H O U G H T S 1) One remark made by the heroine about looking like a cancer patient when she accidentally compromises the integrity of her eyebrow may offend readers. The humour is loud but this specific reference may turn heads for sensitive readers. 2) I did kind of cringe when I found out the heroine’s name. The story still could have still delivered with the comedy value had Fanny had a more normalised name (what i mean by this is to have a full name that isn't the namesake of a storage accesory, 'Fanny' in itself is a perfectly usable name). Once I got over it though, all was well. Also, I’m not sure if the author is aware but the word ‘fanny’ is actually a slang term in the UK used for female lady parts so intended or not, I'll just put this little tidbit out there... 3) Logistically speaking, and as aforementioned in my review, I'm assuming there were some pages missing in my copy. I'm not sure how many pages were absent but I felt hesitant to carry on just because I wasn’t sure what developments had transpired (that I might’ve missed) within that time between Vlad and Fanny. My OCD self very much did not enjoy this. 4) Let it be known that there's just something irresistable to me about a gorgeous guy using very adult toys, but let us not psychoanalyse. S O M E F A V O U R I T E Q U O T E S ! (May contain profanity!) According to some jokes, the Impaler doesn’t like the light, and according to others, he needs the privacy to make his kills in peace. Soft music is vibrating the airwaves in here. In the Hall of the Mountain King by Edvard Grieg—a fitting melody to get exsanguinated to. “Thank you,” I stammer before the silence veers into uncomfortable territory. “I love working here.” And by love, I mean tolerate. But what’s a little white lie between a monster and his prey? What the hell does she want? There’s micromanaging, and then there’s interrupting your loyal employee from finding Nemo. Only now do I realize that he’s basically telling me how to do my job—which would be like me teaching him how to properly drink blood. “The hardware is inside,” he says. A hybrid between a hiccup and a giggle escapes my throat. He just called a collection of dildos hardware, and probably not as a joke. Annoyingly, Vlad’s face only shows the neutral professionalism he’s been displaying throughout this whole encounter. Maybe he’s one of Anne Rice’s vampires—her older ones become as if made of stone over time. “How do you feel?” “Like getting Exit Only tattooed on my left butt cheek,” I blurt, then redden painfully. His expression is unreadable, his demeanor as aloof as ever. Ava, however, looks positively gleeful. “Make that a tramp stamp.” I glare at her. “Actually, that might not work as intended,” the Impaler says, his tone utterly serious. “Some may take it as a challenge.” Oh. My. God. Does he realize what he just said? Ava makes a choking sound as I hustle to the elevator, determined to hide my flaming face. He adjusts his glasses. “A bogatyr is a warrior from Russian legends.” I cock my head. “So this Russian Snow White lives with seven warrior dudes?” He nods. “That sounds like a reverse harem romance.” Amusement glimmers in the blue depths of his eyes. “I think she stays pure for her prince—who’s not one of the ‘dudes.’ Also, the Disney version could be seen as reverse harem also, if your mind is dirty enough.” As someone whose mind is never far out of the gutter, I redden as I picture Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, and Sleepy in a gang bang with Snow White. Could he be the Ivan, as in The Terrible? I can picture it now: The Impaler was feeling feeling lonely, found a man with a name almost as grandiose as his own, turned him, and began a beautiful friendship. He bites his lip and nods. I slowly get him to fifty-percent intensity. His jaw muscles tense and his pupils dilate even more as his eyes roam my face with the hunger of a predator. I like it. A bit too much. I feel doubly jealous. That should be me rubbing noses with him, or at least it should be me that my pet rubs noses with. “You’re a guinea pig whisperer,” I mutter as he gently puts Monkey into the aquarium. It’s either that, or he does have those vampiric powers after all, the ones that allow him to make animals his bitches. “So, Fannychka, do you have any Russian in you?” Natasha asks. If I say no, will she say “do you want some?” and point at Vlad? I. Am. So. Turned. On. “You had vodka in your system,” he continues without letting me go. “And I—” He takes a deep breath. “I want your mind clear when you beg me to fuck you.” I love interacting with fellow readers, reviewers, bloggers and writers. Hearing about reader opinion is the fuel to my reader appetite, so get in touch and comment below! SHARE ON FACEBOOK Leave a comment and let's talk about |
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